The Feather Boa Effect : A surprising antidote to self-criticism

the feather boa effect article elephant journal self criticism

I recently discovered a surprising new way to quieten my inner critic and stop my own self-criticism from having such an impact on me. It was late one January evening and I was lying in bed with my lemon balm tea reading Cyndi Lee’s wonderful book May I Be Happy. In the book Cyndi interviews Dr Christiane Northrup as she tries to get some advice about how to stop hating her body. Dr Christiane tells her a myriad of wise and insightful things, one of which is to take the ‘Nazi’ in her head and ‘put a feather boa on it’. 

This image really struck me. I stayed with it. I liked it. It was fun and novel. I didn’t really know what Dr Christiane meant, but I got the gist and from that I developed my own new technique to stop taking my inner critic so seriously. And I have used it ever since. 

Miss B: my inner critic.

Like all people on the planet, I have an inner critic. I’ve had her since I was about 14 years old and she hasn’t gone away. I like to refer to her as Miss B(itch) – for obvious reasons. 

She is that part of me that seems hell bent on highlighting my weaknesses and holding one humungous magnifying lens up to them. The part of me that doesn’t know how to be my friend and it just isn’t interested. 

That part of me that seems to take its sustenance from putting me down and doing a little dance around my diminishing confidence. 

She’s not always at the forefront but she’s always there, somewhere. 

We all have a Miss B inside. 

To read the rest of the article on Elephant Journal click here. Enjoy! 

This article was originally posted in Elephant Journal

Image: Laura D’Alessandro/Flickr

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